You may have a clear sense of what you would like to do differently, yet find yourself returning to familiar ways of responding. Perhaps you agree to things you do not want, push yourself beyond your limits, or find yourself feeling a similar way in a range of different relationships. Afterwards, you might wonder why you reacted that way, especially when you had hoped this time would be different.

In therapy, we can become curious about what happens in those moments: what you notice, what you expect, and what feels difficult to risk. Some responses may have helped you manage earlier experiences but now come with costs. Others may be shaped by pressures in your life today. I can help you explore these possibilities without assuming there is one explanation, and begin trying responses that leave more room for your own needs and choices.

Signs you might recognise‍: ‍

• Saying yes when you want to say no, then feeling stretched or resentful.

• Setting standards that leave little room for mistakes, rest or satisfaction.

• Putting things off because doing them imperfectly feels difficult to tolerate.

• Judging yourself harshly, even when others see things differently.

• Finding it difficult to express a need, preference or disagreement.

• Withdrawing or shutting down in conversations when your voice needs to be heard.

• Returning to familiar conflicts or roles in different relationships.

• Wanting to respond differently but feeling unsure how to do it in the moment.

These are examples of experiences we might explore, rather than symptoms of a single condition. Understanding your responses also means taking seriously your circumstances and how other people treat you. You do not have to take responsibility for someone else's harmful behaviour.

What an initial session focused on longstanding patterns looks like:

These sessions all look a bit different, but generally I’ll want to be given a few examples of this pattern, want to know how you felt, how you thought others perceived you, how you would like it to look alternatively and the consequences of such changes. I’ll also be intrigued about past and present relationships; family, friends, intimate relationships, colleagues etc. Together we can then work on making sense on why these patterns developed, where and why they don’t make sense anymore. In the following sessions we will move towards finding ways you can have your needs met.